I was friends using this girl for some time. She broke up with her boyfriend. We have been texting loads â like 200 communications per week. We hold obtaining combined indicators from the girl, and that I like their. Can I do it now? But Really don’t wish destroy the friendship sometimes. We in addition hang out, and I also believe she looks for myself in the halls.
-Ivan S. Bently (Kansas)
Hi, Ivan. Many thanks for trusting you because of this important personal problem.
There is a large number of possibilities to describe what’s going on right here, but allow me to supply my «take.» To begin with, you state she’s delivering combined indicators, which probably implies she is confused rather than sure of just what she wishes.
She could still have ideas or hopes for the relationship she simply left, or she might be available which will make an action. She can still be in the recovery process, and she might not be prepared to be viewed openly with another man but.
Texting is likely to be the woman way of trying and hooking up immediately while she finishes psychologically disconnecting from the woman ex. She can be baffled if the woman friendship for you often appears wants its growing into some thing bigger, but she is unsure should you «like» like the girl.
As for you, Ivan, you are in a very precarious area nowadays. She’s on the rebound and requires emotional assistance. She trusts you and seems much better when she offers some texts or hangs down to you. She looks for you from inside the halls because she wants you, within one way or any other, and that is the place you need to be careful. Should you put the friendship 1st above your own interest in online dating her as a girlfriend, you are in serious threat of getting directed into the «friend zone,» that is a hard place to escape from.
My personal advice for your requirements is to get alongside this lady and chat physically. It needs to be previous and reduced than a genuine big date, nonetheless it gives you a notion if she really wants to see you or not. Tell their she should escape and simply take an hour or so to chuckle and take pleasure in herself therefore would love the chance to consult with this lady in more level, as well. Pick an area where your pals never get â maybe a Starbucks anywhere â so she’s going to feel as though her confidentiality is protected.
Ask the lady how she actually is undertaking just in case she is really finished together with her ex. Shell out extremely close attention to her body language. Is she leaning closer or away? Is actually she big-eyed and smiling, or separated and considerate? Is actually she behaving «girly» or like a buddy?
There is one more thing you should do: inform the lady in an exceedingly matter-of-fact method in which you like the lady. Next cannot state another term. She’s got become the next one to speak. Seem the girl straight inside the vision so she will visit your power as well as your sincerity. Boldly and with confidence understand her shoulder or arms. Just make sure she knows you are looking at her in an enchanting man-woman style of means.
Be strong and kind but never ever psychological or eager. Create her want to come to you for any caring and comfy guy you may be and not your nice boy that is «safe» and harmless. The woman true thoughts and objectives should display on their own since conversation unfolds.
Do it now,